Moore Family

Tara is getting a new family in 2 weeks. We got to have dinner with John's parents and his little sister tonight. It went really well. Lots of laughing and fun. I am so excited for them. Marriage is forever and isn't easy for anyone so I just pray it all works out.

Boanerges

I wish Boanerges was my nickname. Maybe one day. I am reading Mark if you can't tell. I have to say that each day I love the Bible more than the last. I love life so much right now and can't wait to see where God leads me. Of course not everything in my life is perfect but it doesn't have to be, my joy is in Christ alone. I am having a great time back home setting up for Christmas and being with my family. I am working delivery at China Hut right now and its a great job. I got to read 65 pages in "Piercing the Darkness" tonight while at work. We are having dinner with John and his parents this Friday night at our house, should be interesting. Only 7 more days of undergrad left!

Judging

I hate how I continue to judge others even though I am so wrong. I still can't get my life straight but for some reason I think some parts of it are better than others. This somehow makes me think I am superior and I try to fix others. I would much rather someone fix me.

Love

Can you ever stop loving someone? I can see love changing or possibly lessening but I don't see how it could ever fully cease. I have never stopped loving someone in my life. There are some people I wish I didn't love but I don't think there is anything I can do about it. I guess that is a good thing because if you read the Bible you find out that if you truly give your life to Christ, and let Him control you, you will be love. As everyone knows, 1st Corinthians 13 talks about love and verse 8 says "Love never ends".

West Palm Beach

I can't wait to go back home on Monday. I get to see Tara and John again, they are getting married sooner than we thought. I am driving home with John Born so that will make the trip a lot more fun than going alone. I feel like this is going to give me a new start. I go back home for a little over a month and come back to Tallahassee a new man, a grad student. Everything is so much clearer now than it was when I got up here 88 days ago. I don't have to spend the whole time trying to figure out what I want. My eyes are open - at least I think they are.

Democracy In America

At first sight there is something surprising in this strange unrest of so many happy men, restless in the midst of abundance. The spectacle itself is however as old as the world; the novelty is to see a whole people furnish an exemplification of it. Their taste for physical gratifications must be regarded as the original source of that secret inquietude which the actions of the Americans betray, and of that inconstancy of which they afford fresh examples every day. He who has set his heart exclusively upon the pursuit of worldly welfare is always in a hurry, for he has but a limited time at his disposal to reach it, to grasp it, and to enjoy it. The recollection of the brevity of life is a constant spur to him. Besides the good things which he possesses, he every instant fancies a thousand others which death will prevent him from trying if he does not try them soon. This thought fills him with anxiety, fear, and regret, and keeps his mind in ceaseless trepidation, which leads him perpetually to change his plans and his abode. If in addition to the taste for physical well-being a social condition be superadded, in which the laws and customs make no condition permanent, here is a great additional stimulant to this restlessness of temper. Men will then be seen continually to change their track, for fear of missing the shortest cut to happiness. It may readily be conceived that if men, passionately bent upon physical gratifications, desire eagerly, they are also easily discouraged: as their ultimate object is to enjoy, the means to reach that object must be prompt and easy, or the trouble of acquiring the gratification would be greater than the gratification itself. Their prevailing frame of mind then is at once ardent and relaxed, violent and enervated. Death is often less dreaded than perseverance in continuous efforts to one end.
- Alexis De Tocqueville

Vicissitude

I wish I could change. Do people ever change? I know I'll never be normal and I know that's good but it doesn't make life easy.

It could be worse.