Last week I was feeling great, I thought everything was finally how it should be and I had finally grown up. This week showed me how weak I am, I still have way too much of my happiness tied up in people. I was hoping that I had gotten past that and I was content with only having God's love. I was lying to myself. It doesn't matter how many Bible verses I can quote about this, I know how I am suppose to feel. I am just not there yet. I know He is enough and the things of earth should not bring me pleasure. I pray that I can grow to a point where I truly stop searching the world for contentment and let God give me the abounding joy he has in store for me.
I feel like God is trying to break me so I will stop relying on myself. I wish he would just get it over with and stop doing it little by little dragging it out. I know I am too confident in my own abilities and I would love to give all my problems to Christ, I just don't know how.
I will just have to allow God to teach me though pain how to let go and listen to Him. It will only hurt worse if I resist.