While I am wasting time here writing I am wishing I had more time. I was just looking at someone’s facebook page who I only met once but looks to be an incredibly interesting individual. I wish I had more time to really get to know a greater number of people. I love the people in my life and there are only so many people you can divide you time between. I hope I am not leaving anyone out who could really impact my life. I have to say, with a completely nonbiased viewpoint, that the many people I know in the Greek system are, for the most part, very uninteresting. They fill their time up with things that don’t matter or build anything. It is really hard to even have a conversation with them because there is nothing I can converse about. My siblings in Christ are so varied, complicated, and talented in countless things. Maybe it is just the closeness of being brothers and sisters in Christ but I love Christians so much. I honestly wonder about this because I don’t think my purpose is to love other Christians but to love the unbelievers. Jesus was not sent to have a party with God fearing men, he was sent to love those who needed Him. I guess this is just really hitting me now because for the first time I am getting a group of Christians I can hang out with, before I always had to settle with people who didn’t understand. I need to make sure to keep a balance of who I am spending my time with. I like my roommates but I don’t spend much time with them because they are not like minded with me. I plan on spending time overseas in missions, how would this thought process work out for missions? It would be pointless. I would not travel thousands of miles to hang out with other Christians, I would spend my time with the fallen. Why don’t I want to do that here? I think it is my sin nature’s natural desire to be accepted. I don’t want to step out too far with the non believers in my life and make them not like me anymore. If I was in Africa I would not care about what other people thought about me because I wouldn’t have anything to lose.
I am embarrassed that I would think this. I am praying to be a better evangelist but it is hard. How can I let something so inconsequential prevent me from fighting as hard as possible for the eternal life of all those I know who are lost? The easy answer is I can’t, I cannot sit by while I see people wasting their lives. I also cannot change their lives, only God can. He can and will use me for something though and I might as well try reaching everyone until I find the person God created me to save.