Friday, October 2, 2009

Man of Faith or Fool?

My life is getting close to a point of uncertainty again. I just went through this in August by moving up to Tallahassee with no place to live. In the next few months my life is going to be even more unpredictable. I have no idea if I will get into Law School, Grad School or even find a job that will provide me enough income to continue living up here. I feel that this is where I am meant to be right now so I have no fear at all about God not providing a way for me to stay here. I am sure I will find a job or start school. Is this faith or foolish? I thought moving up here the way I did was stupid, I am pretty sure my parents would agree. I never thought about it as faith until Mr. and Mrs. Bautz told me that I was living in faith and trusting in God by moving up here. I guess I wasn’t thinking about my move as affecting God. I was only thinking about how it was affecting me. I was lucky that He provided for me when I moved for mostly selfish reasons. I guess it matched His plan so he must be helping me along. I need to realize that while I forget about God, He never stops thinking about me.

Am I a man of faith or just not living in reality? I hope it’s the first but how can I be sure. I make sure I pray about every decision but does that mean I don’t have to worry about it? I feel like it is just immaturity and not faith that I possess. I truly am not worried about what is going to happen in December. It is not possible for God to abandon me.

Jeremiah 29:11

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